Cracks

Brick and mortar but also gold and clay
All strewn around like a child's after-play
The labouring builder was quite worn
But sought to fulfil all she had sworn;
But only in vain.

The foundation was quite well hidden
For all she knew, it might've been midden.
Crucial detail neglected, a layer arose
Followed by another, before her repose.
But only in vain.

The wall rose higher day by day
Flies flickered and she ceased to pray.
They laid eggs in the every single crack
The maggot hatchlings left a slimy track
Not really in vain.

They slid into the widening cracks
The builder struggled to see what it lacks
A cloud of confusion sidled through
She tried but failed to see it true,
Was it all in vain?

She strove to keep building, on and on
Stormy clouds swirl, she was withdrawn;
Fight after fight, she had refused to lose
But what if that is not what God chose?
Was it all in vain?

She knew not for the wall trembled mightily.
The maggots she had not killed brutally,
Grew in size with time, the crevices wider
Deathly maggots formed a loud divider:
Perhaps it is in vain.

But is it?

The Point

It burns so strong,

That vile, icy fear

Gushing to my head;

Insanity breaks loose.

Maniacal ideas float,

Wrestling each other

Fierce and striking. 

Nonsensical trash

Clouding out the sun

The centre of life;

Choking it sorely. 

Lost in the clouds

Floundering, foggy,

Slipping away, unfelt;

Seeping mud beneath

Murky droplets fall.

Hazy and famished

Stumbling through,

The point so distant.

Will it ever be reached?

Lost

Inspired by the song "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns

The sun shone brilliantly,

The horizon was white,

Laughter filled the air,

She ran around gleefully,

Her hands wide open,

Her heart overflowing.

The years add inches

And cinches onto her;

Her glee fades into grey

Her arms curl inwards,

The clouds obscure all;

And she closes her eyes.

The blackness closes in

The thorns twist around

Gashing her flesh open

Searing pain in her mind,

Her eyes close tighter still.

She fights silently, alone.

She clenches her fists

Writhing as she kicks,

Thrashing on the ground.

Her life slowly drains away

She wants to give it all up

Her life means no more;

Worthlessness crept in

Insecurity clawed at her

Weakness cut her to pieces.

She curls up, in tears, lost.

A soft whisper, gentle,

She screams for help!

Her lungs give out

Her head throbs in pain

Yet she screams, "Help me!"

She weeps, heartbroken;

Her wailing destroys death.

The chains lift.

They shatter.

Nailed hands embrace her.

She clings onto them

With every ounce of her

She dares not blink

For fear of getting lost

Yet again, in the darkness

That swirled about her,

Everyday, every minute.

She whispers His name

Every second, every minute

Keeping the thorns away.

Her flesh had no scars

Her heart felt stronger,

Laughter filled the air

Her arms wide open.

The horizon was golden.

Dam

A twig brushes past concrete,

A loud crack rends the air;

A great roar fills the still earth

As the dam comes crashing down.

The waters all rush out, raging;

Rocks are churned in pain

Birds took flight, squawking

The silent forest was deafening.

And then soft words.

There was calm, silence, peace.

Blissful. All as it once was.

Your Hand

The cliff's edge looms

Right there, so close,

Calling out discreetly

Whispers float around

Come, come they say.

I step forward slowly

The faint echoes swirl

Teasing me ever closer;

Pulling my feet through

Teetering on the edge.

And then, quietly drawing up;

A soft touch, a gentle whisper

Strong fingers grasping mine,

Your smile lighting up my path.

The cliff's edge withered away.

Tainted

It swirls, softly dancing

Spreading its fingers

Through the pure water.

It twirls, gently preening,

Clouding the clarity

Of sweet perfection.

It sways, coldly mocking,

Smirking at the fool,

The greatest to live.

The sickly tainted water

Losing its sweet flavour,

Leaving behind bitterness,

Anger, resentment, torture;

Oh damnable Hindsight,

Why were you silent then?

And now, all is tainted.

The Dawn that Wouldn't Break

Golden light seeped out

The blacks and blues

Flew swiftly, easily

Out of reach of the yellow.

But the yellow never raised

Her head above the waterline;

She bobbed up and down

But remained sunken.

What was it to supposed be?

Up or down? Up or down?

Up, up and up! But no, no,

She went down, down and down.

She fought, her powerful yellow

Casting angry reds and oranges

Across the grey morning skies;

Will she prevail against darkness?

Or would she be the dawn that wouldn't break?

Untitled

Here I am, wandering;

Lost and lonely, searching

For what's gone missing.

Is it a friend? Is it love?

Is it the very soul in me?

But You're all that

And so much more Lord;

You're the very breath in me.

Bring me back home

Into Your arms where I belong.

Blind and confused

I stared at those in peace;

How did they hold on and I couldn't?

I had no answers, none;

And I'd looked and looked.

And You sent me some angels

In the guise of people I knew

My mother, who loves me more each day

My friend, who in truth is haloed;

And that special man who sprung from nowhere.

You loved me for who I was

You fired the faults out of me

Molded rubbish into a masterpiece

Everyone who saw marvelled:

How could this be?

What have I done to deserve it?

Why have You poured Yourself out on 

An unworthy soul? Yet that's what makes You.

You love despite the ugly black spots

Nobody could fathom how You do it.

There is none like You.

Golden Rays

The soft breeze rustled her dark ebony waves. She reached up with slender fingers to brush them off her face. She sat unmoving as the darkness enveloped her completely. She had been afraid it would stretch on for eons until she could bear it no more. But she turned her eyes towards the east and saw a delicate orange shimmer along the horizon.

The radiant colours slowly crept up above the horizon, reds and yellows to diffuse into the orange.  The black gave way to a bleak, grey sky that lasted a few moments. The flaming orb finally made its appearance as a pinprick of white hot light shot into view. The grey skies fled in the presence of this pure light.

As she watched the beautiful blue being unveiled as the sun rose higher and higher, her heart lifted. She pulled her cloak around tighter, a beaming smile playing on her lips. She looked heavenward, whispering a soft word of heartfelt gratitude. A new day had just been born and no traces of the precedent darkness to be seen, except for the faint memory. It would come again, but she knew that there will be a dawn without fail. That was how the world was created. That was how it would continue. And that was how she would live, one day at a time.

Everything was going to be just fine...

The Piano

His fingers moved seamlessly, one with the ivory keys, brushing the black brothers gently. His feet worked the pedals as his heart flowed through his limbs. He loved making music on this beautiful piece of art. The black ebony shone in the thousand dazzling lights of the chandelier, brighter than anything else his eyes could see. The tone of this exquisitely crafted instrument resonated with the sounds of his furiously pumping heart. They were one, the man and the Ebony black grand piano.

And then the sky fell upon them.

They were torn apart, why, no one could really tell. He watched with anguish as the other musician touched her keys and drowned himself in her sensual tone. His heart was heavy, his eyes drier than the Red Sea as they made music together, as the songs he had wanted to compose rose from them instead. He lived and relived the feel of the softness of that beautiful ivory surface, on each key. He decided he would never make music with another piano again; it could never feel so right ever again. He lay down in the niche he had carved out for himself, and holding on to the little tag that had come with Ebony, he closed his eyes that he may live in his dreams...

A tinkling woke him. There stood a Walnut piano, lustrous in the dawn rays. A minute spark of interest flew from his fingers. He reached out and struck a chord. The harmonious notes echoed around the room they were enclosed in. He played another, and another, and another. And then he withdrew his hands, for he could feel his heart writhing inside of him. He stepped back, slowly, tiredly.

The Walnut grand piano stood silently, waiting, longing for her notes to be sounded again, to feel the joy of making music. She watched as the man sauntered over again, hesitantly caressing the inky black keys, his fingers working their way over the ivory planes. She basked in the joy of it, carefully forgetting that he might leave again but hoping he would not. She knew he felt he was playing just some piano, not the piano, knew also that his heart was not in the music he was making with her, but hoping nevertheless that he will make music as he once had, fiery and passionate.

But he did leave, his heart still yearning after the Ebony beauty.

The cold, still strings lay in the dark, dust beginning to settle as the Walnut grand desperately hoped he would come back. She watched and prayed.

When he came back, it was nothing like the times gone by. His fingers struck her more powerfully, more passionately. She felt his heart stirring through the tips of his fingers as they grazed the smooth, polished keys that had been crafted onto her. Her strings resounded around the private enclave, the notes beginning to soar as he struck note after note, finding the right pitch that resonated with him and within him.

And sweet, sweet music filled that room forever.

Shine

She bounds with smiles and laughter

Giggling her heart out, eyes lighting up;

Her star shone so brilliantly, so brightly.

Her eyes hurt almost, to gaze upon her star,

But her heart leapt in her chest, her blood raced,

And the smile widened to the ends of the Earth.

A twinkle at the far side caught her attention

She turned to sight another star, bright and pure.

She felt her light ebb away, trickling out of her heart,

When the realisation of what is, was finally evident. 

Her star had been watching the bright lights in the distance

Ever since she first looked to gaze upon her star. 

She wafted away, fading into the background,

Her star who watched the secluded twinkling

Failed to notice her silent, ghostly retreat.

Her heart twisted, yearning to light up again

Struggling to keep the mire from dulling her. 

And then her star turned, to look right into her eyes.

And she lit up the universe. 

Eyes that Speak

Deep fathomless eyes gaze at me

From across the white table,

Platters and glasses forgotten.

In the moment, I knew: I was lost.

Lost to you for all time.

Months passed, and those eyes

Still spoke the truth, even as the tongue

Tried to convince my heart of things

Spoken but hollow; my heart had to choose

Between the unspoken and the untrue.

I chose to believe and hold on to

That which was undeniable.

For weeks, I endured this turmoil

When I couldn't see those eyes

That never lie: they give away the truth.

When I looked into them, I knew.

The tongue might hold back,

Refrain from letting your heart's contents 

Spill; vulnerable and naked it would be.

But the eyes say it all.

There never has been need for words

Between us: silence holds more 

Conversation. A gentle squeeze,

A tender kiss on the forehead,

A soft smile, an affectionate nip;

Someday we'll know what all this meant.

And hopefully, our hearts will be one that day. 

Unknown

It morphs into brittle slate

In the heat of the baking sun.

It rushes over the cliff's edge

As the waters gush down.

It sweeps away the warmth

Like the waters of the Atlantic.

Strangled, fighting for its life;

The embers dim, waiting,

Waiting to be rekindled.

Will the time ever come?

A distant cackling sounds,

Confidence ebbs with the tide

That washes out the warmth.

As a pebble that disturbs,

The lake's silky smooth skin,

Thoughts of you break my heart.

So unbearable are they, I wish,

Upon things that I never would.

Frightening this time it is.

I wish this to end. I wish for a way.

I choose the path, determined.

Yet, when it takes the fork

I knew it would, I am crushed.

What am I to do?

The River

It seeps out of my heart,

Rushes along my lifelines

Like an unstoppable river.

Determined to crash over the edge

Creating a deep, abysmal pool;

Drowning me, arms flailing.

The force of it crushes me

Dragging me under, lungs straining

For a breath of fresh air.

Squeezing every last breath,

Clawing away at my life 

With its ice cold fingers.

My heart screams, beating furiously

To rid itself of this terrible load.

Try as it may, it's much too heavy 

For such a tiny form to bear.

Ice creeps in, little by little;

Taking footholds, perhaps forever.

It would take much to break it;

A stronger heart, greater strength

And above all, understanding.

It's a terrible thing, this feeling.

It creates a void, a wide gaping void

That only you, only you, can fill.

Disappointment

She started, her heart hammering painfully against her chest, as the wretched words she's long since dreaded, sunk in. Her thoughts froze in their tracks. The skin on her palms felt clammy as she stared at the woman before her. This woman that she adored, whose footsteps she had vowed to tread. She watched the hurt deform her beautiful features, as tears slowly crept down those cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," she heard herself say, hearing her weak voice as if from a distance. The woman stared blankly, her heart-shattering grief contorting her wise brow. She stood unmoving, still as the mountains under the bleak skies outside.

"Who are you?" were the only words the woman uttered as she collapsed into the chair behind her. Tears were streaming freely and her breath caught in her throat she tried to reply.

Who was she, who was she to have seared this woman with a flaming lance? This woman who had given up her life for her. This woman who cherished her despite her pitiable shortcomings. This woman who knew her better than any other that walked this realm. This woman who had held her in her joys and her sorrows. This woman who had chastened her and spoiled her. This woman who had taught her, not with mere words but by the example she set. Who was she to have defied her wish to have a daughter as beautiful as she is?

Who was she?

In the Wake of an Illusion

It all ripples; downhill it slides, the illusion

As I watch you smile knowingly at me.

The pieces pick themselves up

Glued by the ingenuous gaze,

Reattached by the tendons of love.

It flows deeply, twisting and turning,

Growing deeper with each minute.

Why, oh why did she take a piece?

Generosity brims over your soul.

Yet now, you hold back; you refrain

From giving all in your benevolent capacity.

Aeons might pass, still I shall hope

That one day, we could piece everything up. 

Together. 

Illusion

In pieces it lay, scattered

Strewn across the mezz floor

Yet invisible to your eyes

The blood red image, colourless and fuzzy

Not impressing on your mind.

To realise it was all but the primal emotion

It claws away at the tattered form on the floor

There was nothing, not now, not ever.

Was it all an illusion then?

A high-end performance that would shame Pacino?

The fine line is hazy at best

Which side are we on?

Could one who can't see the damage, fix it?

Nature of the damage unknown?

Can you? Quite doubtful

You say you want to, yet you don't seem to;

You say it's all in it, yet it isn't.

Belief flickers, I blow on the embers

To keep it going;

Help me.

Second Thoughts

I know it seemed like I was rethinking my decision. But I look at you and I see what I’ve always seen and then some. A handsome man, completely capable of loving me to his fullest, who has actually decided to try his best at making my dream come true. I still see the man I fell in love with. I still see the man I love to kiss. I still see the man whose kisses make me shiver down to my toes. I still see the man who understands me the best in the entire world, second only to my mother. I’m not letting you walk away. I said I would love you till I die. No matter what. That was my promise, and I’m keeping it. I will marry you. And I will have kids with you. We’re going to make it past this. And then nothing is going to break us apart. I love you. 

Revelation

All sense points you here

Yet your heart is willful

And unyielding in its

Stubbornness to not let go,

Of that which has gone by,

That which was not to be

Time slips through the gaps

Rushing by as I await

That dawning of sense,

That revelation of truth. 

Doubt claws in vain,

My heart's solid belief

Just as unyielding;

I long for the day when

It'll be written in stone.

I'll be yours, forever.

Lonestar

A lonestar in the night sky

Spot of white in a black sphere

Beams of hope, tender yet strong, rain down

Shine brighter, my star, till all may see.

Time has lost its meaningful stride

Minutes seem seconds, months seem years

Each year, or is it hour? You grow bolder

You draw nearer, ever so closer

Casting your brilliant rays about

Light floods the darkest corners of my tiny sphere

The dark night fades, fleeing before you

Soft light embraces the dull sky

Painting nameless colours across her face

Dearest lonestar, you are the lone star

Of my desolate little sphere

You are now the sun; my sun.

Valiantly traversing the sky

All will see now

All will know of how night became day

All will wonder how the day never sways

White brumes may hide your radiant face from me

But they drift away and I rejoice at your lambent smile

There are many stars yet only one sun;

My sun.

Chaos

Consciousness slips away

Confusion is rampant

It riddles my mind and heart

Incomprehensible it stays

Crashing against the steel walls

Fighting for a way out;

Thrashing and flailing

Screaming to be understood

Wanting to be acknowledged.

Was I wrong? Or wronged?

Insanity is but a kiss away.

Soon all will be lost;

It would have all been in vain,

All for nothing, nothing for all.

Bells clang as red flags flutter;

I pay no heed, for I am in the right

There is no room for doubt.

The wall had been melted

A phantom gate still closed

No; there is something to it.

Worthy of my all, it cries out,

"Hold on, hang by the spider's thread"

Adoration floods my mind

Sweeping Confusion and Insanity away.

They cower before Love's presence

They dare not oppose her power

She smiles and they turn to vapour.

Her encircling arms, soft and comforting

Comforting as his embracing arms.

Joy overwhelms me; she pats my heart gently

The dying embers spark and ignite as Hope awakens

Together they whisper:

"Heart never lies, believe in her

Believe her words, for they are true

Mind has his own mind, he snares all

Let Heart win for she will, and she must."

And so, the Kingdom comes to rest, free of Chaos.

The Heart and the Fiddler

The wall stood tall, reaching up into the clouds

The steel glistened in the morning rays

The smooth expanse loomed over all those who dared approach.

It bode ill for each, feeling the icy metal creep into their minds.

One fine evening, a Fiddler ventured close

He didn't touch the wall, but he smiled at it knowingly

Oh, that smile! It shamed the oysters with their pearls

And disgraced the sun in all his brilliance.

The impassable wall shimmered in the fading light,

Melted away, like snow in the heat of the spring sun.

His eyes bore right into the Heart of the hearts

Until then, encompassed by the great wall.

He reached out to the Heart with his arms wide open

That adoring smile adorning his beautiful face

She could not resist running into his loving embrace

Casting away all her doubts, for she knew it would be in vain.

Strong arms wrapped around her, anchoring her in his love

She felt safe, she felt happy, she had no doubt.

She was his for all to see, she had no doubt.

Oh, she knew with no doubt, she would be his until time ends.